My First Time In Monterey

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorHigh School, 12th grade October 2001

download word file, 4 pages 0.0

Our First Time in MontereyTitle My family always takes an annual vacation, and it is a very special time for us. We have stayed in a condo in Ocean City, Maryland, and in a gorgeous lakefront cabin in Deep Creek Lake. We spent a glorious week in Duck, North Carolina, at a four-generation family reunion. I remember these vacations fondly, for they remind me of my children when they were little and of the family and friends we have visited. While we were planning our annual vacation in 1986, we decided to fly to California to visit my husband's parents. The scenic coastline, the wildlife, and the aquarium of Monterey, California, made our first trip there our most memorable.This sentence was the blueprint thesis statement.

As we first drove into Monterey from San Francisco, we could see the picturesque harbor and the Pacific Ocean. This sentence is the topic sentence for first subsection.

There was a marina filled with boats of all kinds. There were fancy, polished sailboats whose crisp, white sails were ready to be unfurled to catch the next breeze. Tied in their berths, large, expensive yachts rocked slowly on the waves, waiting for their rich owners to take them out for a trip. There were also dirty, beat-up working vessels, equipped with fish nets, hooks, buoys, and everything else needed to bring in a big load of fish. Even row boats, canoes, and a glass-bottom tourists' boat had found a home there. Notice the visual images included. All of the boats were reflected in the clear, turquoise blue water of the harbor. Beyond the bay, the Pacific beckoned us with its deep cerulean waves topped with white, foamy caps. We could see the swells coming into the mouth of the bay, causing the boats in the harbor to rock, and then going back out to sea. As we drove along the shoreline, we could hear the noisy barking of sea lions and the squawking of birds. Notice the sound images presented here. We had to park the car and investigate these alien sounds.

We pulled onto the side of the road and tiredly crawled out of the car. It had been a very long day, but our curiosity was piqued. As we looked out at the harbor, we could see animals and birds everywhere!This is the topic sentence for the second body paragraph. Fat, lumpy, sepia brown sea lions covered all sorts of horizontal surfaces; they were on rocks, boats, buoys, and docks. They honked at each other with their deep, throaty voices.Sound image. Smaller black harbor seals swam playfully Notice the action verbs while searching for fish that were visible through the clear water. We could see sea otters, furry, fluffy balls, floating in the kelp Again notice the action verbs, eating abalone. They held the shellfish on their stomachs and skillfully broke them open, using rocks or empty shells as tools. Sea gulls cried overhead, as if begging the seals and otters for a taste of their dinners. As the sun began to set, a flock of pelicans flew along the horizon, slow, lumbering, ancient-looking creatures in front of the huge, sinking, red-orange sphere. A superb visual image We stood, gasping at the beauty of the place. We could hardly believe all the animals that we saw, and, little did we know, this was only a preview of the creatures we would see the next day.

After a good night's sleep, we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.Topic sentence for body paragraph #3 As we entered the building, we were greeted by a three-story-tall tank simulating a kelp forest. It was complete with kelp, sharks, fish of all types and sizes, starfish, shrimp, sea anemones, and manta rays. There were men in scuba gear feeding the animals scraps of fish by hand. There was another exhibit recreating a small section of the local coastline habitat. Waves crashed upon the artificial shore and birds dashed up and down the sand, catching tiny fish and crustaceans. A section of the aquarium was devoted to jellyfish of many kinds. There were small jellyfish the size and shape of pennies, box-shaped jellies as big as playing cards, and even huge, round ones the size of dinner plates, all swimming peacefully in tanks lit by fuchsia, teal, or golden-yellow lights. Outstanding visual images There were even jellyfish that glowed in the dark! My daughter's favorite area was a touch-tank where kids of all ages could pick up and feel bumpy starfish, squishy sea cucumbers, hard-shelled crabs, rubbery chitons, and soft, smooth bat rays. This sentence contained excellent touch descriptions. After an entire day in the aquarium we left, longing for another chance to see everything.

We spent two weeks in Monterey, amazed the entire time by the beautiful scenery and abundant wildlife. This is a restatement of blueprint thesis statement, in different words. We have returned many times to see Grandma and Grandpa and to enjoy a place so different from where we live. We have grown accustomed to the barking sea lions, the seals and sea otters, and the multi-hued Pacific Ocean sunsets. Every time we plan to return to Monterey, I think about that first trip. I know we will have a wonderful time, but it will never be as awe-inspiring as the first time we visited Monterey, California.Full-circle element, which touches on the introduction's content one last time.

Essay Outline Topic of Essay: A description of Monterey, California.

Audience: (Who is this written for?) For an adult.

Purpose: (In your opinion) To describe the positive features of Monterey.

Title: Our First Time in Monterey How is the essay topic introduced: The topic is introduced as the writer reflects on many different vacations she or he has taken with her or his family, leading up to the best vacation "“ a trip to Monterey.

Blueprint Thesis Statement: The scenic coastline, the wildlife, and the aquarium of Monterey, California, made our first trip there our most memorable. The phrases "The scenic coastline, the wildlife, and the aquarium of Monterey, California" are the blueprint element of this thesis statement.

Topic Sentence for Body Paragraph #1: As we first drove into Monterey from San Francisco, we could see the picturesque harbor and the Pacific Ocean.

Topic Sentence for Body Paragraph #2: As we looked out at the harbor, we could see animals and birds everywhere! Topic Sentence for Body Paragraph #3: After a good night's sleep, we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Full-Circle Element in Conclusion: (How is the introduction's content reflected on for a final time?) The writer mentions that even though the family continues to visit Monterey during vacations, he/she will never forget the "awe-inspiring" first trip.



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